Dunno what went wrong lately. My heart always felt as heavy as like I'm carrying a huge load within it. Maybe I'm too tired of missing someone that I know I should not think too much... Last time I used to listen to my close friends that they fall in love with someone that they don't even know. OMG! Don't u feel weird when u fall in love with someone when u don't even know his name (or maybe we can signified as 'stranger')? For me, I felt that this is totally out of mind n it is BULLSHIT! How can someone fall in love with stranger that they never talk to? How come this feeling can be consider as 'L.O.V.E'? I think this is only can be describe as 'admire' BUT....absolutely not L.O.V.E ! For me, it is impossible to said that u love someone either bcoz of appearance or personality. Indeed, u fall in love bcoz u like everything about him eventhough he is not perfect in other's opinions. Just like I like him without any reason, I just like him bcoz my feeling tell me, ''Come on Kym, he is the one..''. The most I admire about him is his confidence. He is not pretending or hiding himself infront of everyone. I'm always wondering, why he can be so honest n full of confidence for whom he is.. Honestly, I can't do it coz I'm always hiding my true-self infront of others especially him. I can't be natural n always lack of confidence infront of him as I always want to keep the best image so that he will notice me. I always wish that he can understand me more n pay more attention on me. I'm not greedy, I just wish that I can always be there when he need me. At first, I thought that I don't actually care if he like me or not n it is not important also whether to let him know my feeling coz I just want to c him smiling n stay happy everyday..that's all, it is already enough. However, I found that lately I really cannot lie to myself anymore..how can I lie to myself that I don't mind at all though he don't care about my feeling.. So, I ask myself, ''Do I really don't care about anything as long as he is happy n all I want is just to see him smile?'' Perhaps NO n maybe I need to admit that I'm quite greedy.. It is hurt when u get to know that u r not the reason behind of his happiness and that one sweet smile. Can u imagine how hurt it can be? Though it can be hurt but, sometimes u will still continue to love him or her coz there r sweetness n bitter in every relationship. So, no one can ever judge what love really is.. Maybe this is the reason why we called L.O.V.E as B.L.I.N.D coz when u love someone, u won't mind to sacrifice~
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